They met in between — at the Dublin BART — got sushi, and hit it off. He said he is never bored and always free of the feeling he needs to “fix himself” to be accepted and loved.
They went to a thrift store, took in a movie, had dinner, did some walking around, and then headed to the California Academy of Sciences — and talked until midnight. She said she finds it refreshing to discover a soul mate with life goals similar to her own. Carolyn said Nira took “all kinds of public transportation” to purchase the perfect rubies-diamonds-white gold ring, red carnations, and boba milk tea — “my favorite Taiwanese drink,” she exclaimed — before traveling to Stockton.
Common lore says the youngest millennials are avoidant, highly resistant to long-term commitments like marriage, mortgages, raising children, or owning a small business. The Oakland couple embraced modernity by meeting online, but almost everything else about their romance is retro.
Further tilting against trends, Carolyn, 24, is sole owner of the vintage clothing shop, Hello Vintage, a bracing, homey College Avenue establishment. Choosing relationships and personal fulfillment over income, they said in separate interviews, directs their lifestyle as a couple.
They are as follows: In my experience, this internalized belief is the poison that prevents some gay men from building a healthy relationship, and also why many mess up the ones they already have. Few of us grow up unscathed by family, peers, and a society hostile to our attractions and behaviors.
Some of us have been bullied as children; physically, verbally, and emotionally abused at tender ages by our peers and family members for being gay before we even recognized and understood our same-sex attractions.
She found her current space and kept up efforts to make Hello Vintage stand out, pairing her best business skills — a strong work ethic, honesty, superior taste, and a willingness to listen to advice, according to her husband — with retail features and customers’ desires. Carolyn posts vivid photos of the apparel on her website, providing definitions of different designer labels and fashion eras that are written with brevity and clarity.
She was headed to Canada, and he was traveling to China to see family in his homeland.
“I couldn’t talk until I landed, so when we finally talked, we were 6,000 miles apart,” she recalled.
Unique items abound: among them, a dress once worn to JFK’s inauguration and Chinese dresses from the 1940s brought in by a customer.
“She wanted them to go to good homes,” Carolyn remembered of their donor.
OK, so, you’re gay, you want to find a partner and eventually a husband; someone with whom to share your life.